Did you see, or just talked about merkins? Ha! Ha! I thought merkins were the people south of here, living in Merika... But now I know what really merkins are. Here's an exerpt from the instruction manual accompanying one:
"Please fill the registration card as it is imperative that we know how to reach you promptly if we should discover a safety problem that could affect you.
Confirm that merkin is the proper size before wearing. Use of an improperly sized merkin may result in paralysis or death. On first use your merkin may be stiff
and difficult to attach properly. Do not be embarrassed to ask for assistance. For best results we recommend that four persons be recruited for this purpose--
one to grasp either leg, one to apply the merkin, and one to act as lookout. Once the merkin is in place, it should be appropriately lubricated using light sewing
machine oil, petroleum jelly, #2 fuel oil, or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter when on sale at Safeway. Do not use so much lubricant that it dribbles in the street.
Merkin should not 'squish' when in use. Your merkin is highly flammable. Do not use if temperature rises above 73 degrees. If merkin ignites while in use,
seek assistance by running into the nearest street and shouting, "I'M ON FIRE GODDAMIT." Do not panic. The number of people who die as a result of burns
from a flaming merkin is surprisingly small."
And yes, the recovery expedition for the stranded Hero was successful. Things went very safely and smoothly, total time between leaving the truck and returning to it with all boats and gear about 90 minutes. There is a dent but I will try a heat gun on it since the boat is in my garage...
